Your "Old Self"

"So how are your new meds working?"  "When do you think you will be back to you old self?"   Ahhhh questions with no specific answers.  I feel some improvement with my new meds, some good and some not so good side effects.  Sometimes I sleep too much sometimes not enough.  I don't really recall my "old self" as my struggle has been going on for so long that I only recall moments of laughter and much, much less anxiety in my life.  To have to sit and really try to recall my old self can be depressing and disheartening.  If anyone is waiting for my "old self" to reappear then you may be waiting a long time.  After struggling for over ten years with crippling issues I sadly don't recall my old self, I only think of moving on to a mentally better self.  Don't let others' words affect you deeply, it can be confusing and saddening to try to recall who you were 20 years ago.  Maybe you have just evolved into something different.

At the end of the day I feel myself and I are just plodding along the best we can and are happy with any positive results.

Does it really matter how you were or is it better to think of what you are becoming?